An Interview with Mel Cooper
- Q. How old are you, Mel?
A. In dog years I'm 413. Do the math.
- Q. How many times have you been married?
A. To a woman? Only once. Followed by a very amicable,
uncontested divorce. My ex and I are still very good
friends, but that's as far as it will ever
go in this lifetime. Lesson well-learned. All I wanted was my
house. Cost me a bundle to keep it in the divorce.
- Q. How long have you been cooking for yourself?
A. Less than two years. By the way, what's for dinner?
- Q. Since you've been dating how many notches do you have on your gun?
A. Let's get this straight once and for all. I am not a "serial dater" if that's what you're getting at.
No doubt some men deserve that label, but I don't. I intend to re-marry.
Absolutely! I believe I would make the right girl a fine husband. The love
of my life is waiting for me to find her. I'll know her when I
find her and she'll know me. This is not a game of scoring "notches"
where I'm concerned.
- Q. How far will you go ... er, travel ... to see a woman?
A. If you can get there from ATL and the plane ticket isn't much more than
I normally spend on dinner for an actual date with a woman in Atlanta ($$),
then I'm there! I LOVE Florida. A lot. No state personal income tax. But
I don't discriminate if the woman doesn't live in the Sunshine State.
After all, It's not the place, but the person.
By the way ... I would welcome and opportunity to move to be with the right woman if that's important to her (assuming she lives in the warm South!).
- Q. Do you darken the door of a church on Sundays?
A. Yes. Every Sunday. I am a Christian. A Believer.
My faith is very important to me and it should be to her as well. Frankly, I don't get these women online who say they're "spiritual by not religious."
I can only say that they are missing out on a life of true contentment and
peace once you get through all the contemporary "noise" about whether
religion is really relevant in the today's world. Besides, I don't believe in reinventing a wheel that
was made 2000 years ago. My mother didn't raise an total
- Q. So, Mel, how do you pay the bills?
A. I haven't paid them yet.
- Q. No, really ... what do you do for a living.
A. I've owned my own business for over 22 years. I'm a
search engine marketing consultant. I help businesses use my company's software tools to track and improve online buying behaviors.
I actually had no choice in the matter of
working for myself. I kept getting fired from regular jobs.
Their loss for sure! Plus, I can work anywhere as long as I have
my laptop and a good Internet connection. Cool, huh?
- Q. Boxers or briefs?
A. Briefs ... but not in bed.
- Q. Do you consider yourself a confident,
A. Yes, but I'm not absolutely sure.
- Q. Do love your mother?
A. What? Are you kidding? Of course I love my mother.
And I'll do anything to stay in her Will!
- Q. What is your favorite color?
A. Well, I have a list of favorite colors ... in precise order.
Black, red, yellow, silver, and white.
- Q. Let's get back to you and women.
Do you enjoy engaging in a little PDA?
A. Yes! I'm old enough not to care what anyone
thinks when I kiss a woman in public ... as long as she doesn't care. And
if she does, then I'm probably not going to be the man for her. I don't
mean being lewd or embarrassing in public, but a quick kiss on the lips is
so sexy to me ... and I hope to her as well.
- Q. Do you bar hop?
A. No. For that to really pan out you have to stay up way past
my normal bed time. And then only the young chicks show up at the
bars. I'm not interested in 20-something girls in the least because I
would have absolutely nothing in common with them.
- Q. As a man of a certain age you're
saying you are NOT interested in younger women?
A. No, no, no! There are so many really gorgeous, hot women in
their late 40's and 50's that it's silly to waste time with young girls still in their 20's. Immaturity is a turn-off for me.
- Q. What is your favorite food?
A. Italian, Italian, and Italian. Any kind of pasta is fine with
me. Basic spaghetti with thick tomato sauce, Italian sausage, and beef
meatballs sprinkled with Parmesan cheese is heaven!
- Q. What was the last concert you
attended with a date?
A. Maroon 5 during their latest tour in Birmingham, AL as of 2013.
The light show and video effects were astounding!
- Q. What was the last book you read?
A. I read non-fiction books -- mostly books related to my profession.
My father told me when I was a young man that "you will never waste your
money by buying a good book." He was right.
Also, I've recently read "All In -- The Education [and Downfall?] of General David Petraeus".
Superb book despite his subsequent sex scandal with the Paula Broadwell, the
- Q. What is your favorite mode of
A. Well, I have a 2013 Honda Accord Sport. I don't drive much in my work, so I just need something that get's me from A to B.
I'm not into cars much. But my
absolute favorite mode of transportation is on two wheels: My Yamaha
FJR 1300 Super Sport Touring motorcycle. It's like an addiction to
crack. I love it and prefer it to a "cage" (automobile) by a long shot.
- Q. Are you in good physical health?
A. Yes! In fact, men in the Cooper family often live way too long for their own
good. But seriously, I seem to be in perfect physical health aside
from the occasional electro-shock therapy sessions. I do
not smoke and will not date someone who does. I drink very seldom.
Q. So, in the fewest words possible how
would you describe your ideal partner in life?
- She is a Christian. It would be nice --
but not required -- if she was a Methodist, too. A wiccan, atheist,
agnostic, or hard-core Southern Baptist* would be a difficult stretch for
- No health-threatening, communicable diseases;
- Not a non-prescription drug-taker;
- She takes very good care of herself physically
and intends on staying that way. Slender or
"athletic & toned" preferred. At some point I would really like to see
a current picture of her mother.
For the record, my mom is 80-something, bit looks 60-something. No
kidding. I can prove it, too. So whomever becomes my partner for
life will have to get used to people wondering why she married a much
younger(-looking) man when we're both in our 80's. Small price for her
to pay I suppose.
- Educated (preferably at least a BA or
equivalent experience). Note: Any degree from Auburn University would
rocket her to the very top of my list! (BIG laugh!);
- Naturally attractive (but not necessarily a runway model).
Laid-back, "California beach girl" types are a major, major turn-on for me.
But if you don't fit that image that's OK.
My limited experience with (former) models has, well, brought a whole
different set of self-image "challenges" and heart breaks into the
relationship which I'd just as soon avoid for the remainder of my natural
life on this earth.
- Not embarrassed about telling me what she
wants. At any time.;
- She has no children still living at home;
- Not "currently separated" (I don't date married women);
- She has no prison record -- But that is not a deal-breaker;
- She isn't a high-maintenance woman. (You know who your are!)
- For the love of all that's good and decent in the world she must NOT, N-O-T (!!) be emotionally traumatized by a bad experience with other men in her past!
(Jeez! Enough is enough! I am NOT a therapist.)
- She is the type of girl who always makes a point of saying "Thank you!" when a guy spends money on her during a date -- whether she likes him or not!
I believe this says a LOT about her character and definitely
influences my opinion about a woman.
- Good sex -- often
-- is important to me! There. I said it and I'm not
ashamed in the least that you know this about me. We're all grown-ups
here, right? You can stop reading now if you're offended by this, but
it is what it is.
I do have very few limits when it comes to sex, but I enjoy sharing and
listening to what she wants most of all. My desire is to
please her more than she pleases me.
For the record I am NOT, NOT looking for a "booty call." I am looking
for a partner for the rest of my life. A wife.
If it makes you squeamish for me to bring up the subject of sex then please
find someone else more compatible with your personal philosophy on the
subject. No harm, no foul. I can only wish you nothing but good
wishes and success in your search for a more compatible partner.
- Most of all, I'm looking for a woman who wants to love and be loved by
her man every day ... for the rest of her life.